The Psychotic Phases of a New Writer

Medium Image

The Honeymoon Period

Holy shit, what am I seeing?!

This is social media for writers!

Wow, look at all these articles, and a lot of them are incredible!


The Plateau

Wait a minute. Why are there so many self-help articles in the feed?

Why can’t I filter them out?

There’s a lot of rambling journal stuff.

Did this guy seriously just publish a 2,000 word article about the connection between Patti Smith and Joan of Arc? Dang, man. That’s some serious analysis.

I just did that whole thing where I read 3 paragraphs and then closed out of it.


Wow, I’m noticing that I do that a lot. On many articles. In every genre.

That’s okay though, it’s better than reading


Because it’s challenging!

There’s more than just one voice!

It’s a sea of voices. Some of them suck, some of them are pretty good.

You gotta sift through the muck to find the gold.

The First Mountain

Holy Shit! These two writers — ThunderPuff and Ellie Guzman — these girls are f — ing AMAZING!

Now I can’t get anything done because last night I spent 6 hours reading everything Ellie Guzman published! I’m exhausted.

Wow, she’s a rock star.

Err- maybe I shouldn’t publish here after all. Damn, I’ll never be that good.

Okay — whoo — I’m going to publish anyway. I may not be Ellie Guzman, but my thing is totally different.

My “brand” is a different thing. Diversity, I say.

We’ll give this a shot.

I’m seeing a lot of articles under the Music tag that are hopelessly boring. We can do this.

The Big Mountain

Hell yeah! 138 people read my article about Chris Cornell. And they read it all the way to the end.

I know this because Medium knows who reads versus who just clicks and skips out after 3 paragraphs.


That’s more reads in 24 hours than I’ve had on WordPress in the same timeframe.

This is awesome. Oh, and this awesome lady — this experienced REAL writer and former teacher — she just commented on it, told me it was great, and gave me pointers!

Damn, that’s awesome!

The Valley

What? How does this person have 5k followers publishing shit like this? She seriously just published a journal entry type of thing and people are fawning over it.

I published a music article two days ago under the appropriate tags of “Music” and “Rock Music” and it’s not showing up.


Do you have to have a minimum of 5K followers to be seen?

Hmmm… I think that’s how it works here.

With that many followers, writers earn a sufficient amount of recommends to feed Medium’s algorithm.

Otherwise you don’t show up under the tags. I bet.

Hmmmm. It’s a wonder anyone has seen my shit.

I bet people link over to Medium from Facebook where they already have a huge following.

Damn and Blast. That won’t work for me because I don’t do social media. I’m screwed.

Maybe I should comment on every article and just troll people.

I’ll be a jerk and they’ll click on my profile just to see who this asshole is.

They’ll click my articles to see if I’m any good.

Naw, on second thought I’m not gonna troll. I won’t let my negativity turn me into a douche.

Take the higher road!

At the end of the day, it’s all marketing just like everything else. That’s the lesson of the year.

And to be honest, if they have that many followers they earned it one way or another. Some of them publish great stuff, some of them publish shit. In either case, it doesn’t matter because they figured out how to be SEEN! They are winners in the attention economy.

My advisor said to write for a Medium sub-publication. Hmmm. I’ve heard those are hard to get into. I read that you must have a following already.

Maybe I’ll try anyway on my next one.

But damn, I’m looking through this list of sub-publications and none of them seem to match my style!

The Downward Spiral

Ugh, f — -k this. It took me 8 hours to write the draft on my last article, and another 3 hours of editing.

That was the better part of a Saturday night, until about 4:00 in the morning. I have a non-writing day job and I wanna do other things.

But I’m OBSESSED with Medium!

Medium is the new beer. It’s dark, ugly, occasionally euphoric, but overall mentally addicting.

Maybe I’ll connect with people in real life and hand out business cards. Maybe I’ll go to poetry readings and writer clubs. Maybe I’ll take classes. I need classes and feedback.

I have a spark and I want to turn it into FIRE.

Maybe I’ll do like Hunter Thompson and type up everything written by Thom Wolfe and Virginia Woolf.

I’ll have me a Wolf Fest.

Then I’ll write a bunch of my own stuff too. I’ll write and write. Because I like the process.

Oh shit, I forgot. I work for a living!

Haha, just kidding!

I seriously just forgot about that part.

That was a fun daydream though.

Maybe I’ll do all those things slowly over time.

I should uninstall the Medium app.

Hmm…. Maybe.

But not until I publish this.

And look at some more articles.

I’ll just, err, uninstall it next week…. end


In a couple of weeks.

Next month.

F — K!


If you liked this, you will love How To Ruin A Viking Fantasy and Help! My Sexy, Take-Charge Kindle Won’t Turn On!


8 thoughts on “The Psychotic Phases of a New Writer

    1. Yes, but you see… I also began publishing on Medium and I thought it would be fun to post a half-satirical reflection about that experience. My tagline of “this is social media for writers, oh boy!” is meant to match the present-tense voice-over in my brain that exists within the piece, so it’s not like literally THIS place of WordPress :). It’s THAT place of Medium.
      I also figured other WordPressers would relate, possibly having dipped their toes in the Medium galaxy. It was effective; I gained several new WP followers. So ironically, I have decided that WordPress is ultimately better. It’s like I fell in love with an exciting younger vixen, got trampled a bit, and now I’m back to the wife.

      Liked by 3 people

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