Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.
It’s a good time for me to focus on this kind of thing, so that I can ramp up the spirituality and manifest excitement and something to look forward to again.
It was that day a few weeks back… I showed up for a video interview, for a job I knew I was underqualified for. Naturally, I did not pass that interview, but I was proud of myself for not canceling, and for landing an interview in the first place for a job which is over my head. You have to be a pretty good salesperson with a tight resume to end up in that sort of scenario. What excited me is what I had planned for celebration. 2 things, really.
First, I went to “music land” – a park called the Regional Athletic Complex (RAC) which features various sports fields, but also a huge playground for kids. More to the point, and for my purposes, it features 2 miles of paved trail for walking/running/biking, and it goes in a gigantic loop which surrounds the perimeter of the park. You walk through rolling green hills, like wizard of Oz, and there are a couple offshoot gravel trails for a little stretch. One is through the woods and the other is through a beautiful prairie on top of a big plateau hill thing.
Just gorgeous, as I have gushed before. Well, I hadn’t walked around listenening to music for quite a while. And it was sunny and hot so I dialed up The Smashing Pumpkins, my favorite band of all time alongside Jefferson Airplane, and that is mostly what I listened to. The sun beat down on me, which normally I would not like… walking in 80 degrees with no shade is not my thing… but I was enjoying the sun and gish-era “sunshine power rock” songs so damn much that I walked two huge loops which takes a couple hours.
That’s what I get excited about – feeling musically and artistically connected, especially while moving out doors.
But, that wasn’t the only thing to be excited about. I was going to eat a gram of Emerald Gates magic mushrooms later. And so I did. It was a little bit of a risk. I was still anxious from the job interview. I thought a long walk at the RAC would cure it, but my anxiety is sometimes bad enough that even positive things like moving around while happy and excited can give me anxiety. So, I was a bit anxious driving home, but nothing was going to get in the way of that gram. At this point, I have become something of a professional at dealing with mild to mid-level anxiety… (versus, say, a full on panic attack which seldom happens to me now)…with the help of a lot of really good resources on YouTube (visit my page and see recent posts for links), plus just education over time, reading Dr. Claire Weekes book on how to deal, etc. So, anxiety rises and I deal with it effectively.
Well, I ate a gram and we had a ball. It’s only a gram so no visuals, really, but at certain points the outside world and just everything was a bit peculiar. At one point I was outside alone in the early stages and I did notice anxiety rising, but not overwhelmingly so and the solution was as simple as going inside and hanging out with her in the living room. Boom, anxiety gone. This is why they say if you’re going to toy around with psychedelics, as magical and wonderful as they are, don’t be hanging out alone. They bring out whatever is already kicking around. In my case, anxiety was kicking around back stage. Well, go hang out with a loved one and boom it’s gone. Probably a good argument for not hanging out alone when you are anxious even if you are perfectly clear headed. Anyway the highlight was being outside with her looking at trees and listening to music on YouTube and Pandora. The phone is a bit tinny, when I get a job and paycheck I will be getting a decent Bluetooth speaker of decent size.
Thanks for reading.
ZeroSpace 